“Hey. Listen, my neighbor, Family Man, is hiding drugs in his woodpile?”
“Oh. Is that so?”
“Yeah. One of the logs is hollowed-out inside; he’s keeping the stuff in that.”
20 minutes later, the entire Sheriff’s department descends on Family Man’s house. They go through the entire woodpile, chopping each one open. After over an hour, they split the last log, find no drugs, and drive off disgruntled.
Our hero, who has been watching the entire operation, watches them drive away, then picks up the phone. “Hi, it’s Family Man. Thanks again for letting me use your phone!”
Merry Christmas, FM! Unfortunately, this only works once.