Saturday, April 18, 2009

Jumping the Buffoonery Gun [MORE]

I’ll be the first to admit it: Planet Georgia’s government is largely a bunch of buffoons in suits. That’s certainly nothing new; they were buffoons when they were nominally Democrats, and they’re no less (or more) so now that they’re Republican’ts.

But I would feel better if they didn’t take seriously stuff I wrote about in October 2007 that’s supposed to happen after the 2012 elections. Hey! FAR Future is supposed to be fiction, not a freeking blueprint (and besides, you’re almost four years early)!

An article at Tondee's Tavern provides a good reality check: how long do reasonable people extend a hand to mad dogs in trouble? How many times do they get bitten before giving up and pulling out the metaphorical shotgun? (my words, not the writer’s) That’s the situation here: Planet Georgia (and other red states) are glad to turn down help if it gives them the chance to take cheap shots at a Democratic administration and engage in useless political theater. We know these guys don’t have any new ideas (and the only one they ever had, “give tax cuts to people who don’t need ’em,” was an Epic Fail), but inciting violence and threatening another civil war just seems like the desperate last gasp of a party about to disappear in quicksand.

UPDATE: I forgot to mention this — I’ve been racking my brains for an evening and a day, and haven’t come up with anything that Planet Georgia produces that is irreplaceable. Peaches, peanuts, cotton, watermelons, sod, lawn care equipment… all can be produced elsewhere. Vidalia onions are about the only thing that comes to mind, and those are hardly essential. I suppose I-75 might be a problem… I can imagine all the New Englanders griping about having to detour through Tennessee and Alabama to get to Florida. So if we actually did secede, would anyone else notice?

9 comments:

  1. Oh boy FAR ... just came back from reading those links. What is going on down there w/ all this talk of secession in Texas and Georgia over the last few days ... is there any meat to it, or is it merely political theatre?

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  2. I'm sure it's theater, Olivia. As far as I'm concerned, Texas could go if they left the oil. Planet Georgia doesn't have anything unique or essential to the rest of the country, except for maybe I-75. :-P

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  3. LOL FAR.

    (Guess I was coming from the perspective of Quebec separation; I know how real it can be.)

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  4. Yeah, we've even run into some of that Quebecois nationalism down here. "Oh $#¡+, that's got to be translated into French!"

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  5. "I'm sure it's theater, Olivia. As far as I'm concerned, Texas could go if they left the oil.As far as the oil goes...What we have is the infrastructure for the processing. Nothing that can't be built elsewhere...at exorbitant cost.

    If the tankers don't get to port we got damn near nothin'.

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  6. Yeah, Wooly… you got that much. What has Georgia got that the rest of the country needs? The Allman Bros.?

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  7. Hey FAR,
    I'm late to the party of course, but I read about that crazy secession talk last week and couldn't believe they were really that Batsh*t crazy down there, but you just confirmed it for me. I always kind of liked the time I spent in Georgia, but it was mostly in the Atlanta area. I did think that driving up through the southern parts was pretty scary though ... I stopped once in Valdosta to eat on a roadtrip, but only made that mistake once!

    You're right, GA doesn't produce anything truly irreplaceable and nobody's ever going to miss those vile boiled peanuts!

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  8. IVG, Atlanta is kind of the Planet Earth outpost here. But there are pockets of non-pod people even outside Atlanta (FAR Manor being one, DD's college is another). Valdosta is kind of scary even for pod people on this side of the state… but there *is* a good BBQ joint there. Too bad my cholesterol issues don't let me partake anymore. :-P

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  9. LOL, FAR... re: Valdosta BBQ ... I ate at that place on the recommendation of a friend! Kind of a dive but the pulled pork was great as I recall. The people were, shall we say, "colorful" and a bit scary....

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