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Friday, July 29, 2011

#FridayFlash: I Quit

I had a crisis of confidence with the flash I was going to post, and didn’t remember I had this one until afternoon. It’s not any kind of “sign-off” — except that with impending vacation where I won’t have much Internet access, I probably won’t post (or read much) next Friday.

Anyway, this story was based on a writing prompt from Ian O’Neill. I’ve snatched a copy of the photo for the sake of convenience.

Pat sat on the toilet, smoking a cigarette. He had the door locked, the window open, and the exhaust fan going — maybe Becca wouldn't catch him in the act again. He really wanted to quit, but it was so hard.

He sighed and shook his head, taking a final drag. He opened his legs and dropped the butt into the bowl.

The toilet exploded.

He found himself in the corner. The ringing in his ears gave way to a frantic pounding noise. “Pat! What happened? Are you okay?” He shook his head, trying to clear it as Becca stopped pounding at the door, probably running to get the key. He looked at pieces of the shattered toilet for a moment, then winced at a dark smear across the tile floor. That stupid statuette she’d bought was lying nearby, spattered with more crap but otherwise intact.

He pushed himself up against the wall and stood shaking, bent over from the pain in his legs and in between. I quit.


  1. I think an exploding toilet would make anyone want to quit.

  2. Especially if they're sitting on it at the time!

  3. Yeah, I never want to go through that... again.

  4. Oh man. I had an ex who volunteered to get me some because I was such a... grouch when I was quitting. I'm glad he didn't think of this method of 'encouragement', lol. OUCH!

  5. Ha ha I think he'll definite quit now. What's she going to say about her statue??

  6. Heehee…

    Tim, are you saying the loo blew up on you too? [sorry]

    Apple, OUCH indeed! I think when Pat recovers, he'll be thanking God he still has everything attached…

    Helen, good point! I think the statue might get banished to an outdoor planter or something.

  7. There is no better line than..

    The toilet exploded.


  8. Haha, poor guy. I hope he didn't lose anything important in the explosion, apart from the desire to have another cigarette.

    Enjoy your vacation FAR.

  9. I guess patches and gum are too simple, huh? Very funny FAR!

  10. Frankly, I don't think you've lived until you can tell an exploding toilet story. I leave here smirking, thanks.

  11. Positively CRAP-tacular! Great story. Got a good laugh out of it. It has that feel of an urban myth but you know it's funny because you can picture it so well.
    Adam B @revhappiness

  12. Hi all!

    Luca, I was fond of that line myself.

    Steve, I think this time Pat will kick the habit. The habit kicked him pretty hard already…

    Chuck, maybe Pat tried 'em already, and needed something a little stronger?

    Jason, I'm fond of stuff blowing up. Now that I've lived by telling an exploding toilet story, I hope I won't die urk—

    *kzrrt* wubba-wubba-wubba

    Woo. Where was I? Oh yeah.

    Adam, great description. I also had that mental pic of poor Pat trying fo figure out what just happened.

  13. That would do it for me. But I suspect that some of my smoking friends wouldn't be deterred.

  14. Yes, I think if you don't quit after that, then there's something wrong with you!

  15. As I've always said, don't use my gasoline filled toilet if you smoke...simple rules and everybody stays safe.

    Fun :)

  16. Yup, I think that would make me quit smoking too... :D


  17. Before I read the comments, the first thing I though of was "Die Hard". Love exploding toilets.

    You should be vacationing as I write this, so I'll comment on the next one and say "hi."

  18. Hi all, I'm baaaack…

    Boran, Icy, I think I know people who would be (at best) only temporarily deterred by such an event. :-(

    Michael, you're an edge-ridin' dude, heehee!

    Ganymeder, maybe I should hook you up with Michael?

    Pegjet, thanks much. I hope to have something for this week, now that I'm on the way home.

    WG, indeed it was!


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