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Saturday, December 03, 2011

Deck Them Halls

Christmas time is here, by golly
Disapproval would be folly
— Tom Lehrer

With Thanksgiving finally out of the way, Mrs. Fetched went into full-blown decoration mode. I somehow got out of helping with the inside stuff, beyond horking boxes around. I was doing something, not at the manor, but can no longer remember what it was.

However, Mason was there to help, and he did hang some ornaments. Of course, he slapped ’em right back off the tree first chance he got. Mrs. Fetched invested in non-breakable ornaments this year… although as a friend put it, “they’ll cut your foot just like the glass ones if you step on one.” Okay, maybe they should be called shatterproof instead?

We’ve started doing the “one finger” rule with him — if he touches something, touch it with one finger. But that doesn’t stop him from sweeping that one finger across something to send it flying.

I wasn’t so lucky with the outside. We don't go as bat $#¡+ crazy as some people do with their lights (those, as Mrs. Fetched puts it, who “have nothing else to do”), but it’s more than enough in my opinion. She kept us going much of Saturday and Sunday, well past sunset both days, poking hangers onto the shingles and hanging lights every which way. I had to dismantle and re-do the net-lights over several of the boxwoods, since someone plugged them into each other and I had no idea how they were meant to plug into actual AC current. But I got it straightened out in the end and we managed to get it all lit up for a while… until (I think) the breaker fried. Mrs. Fetched insists we didn’t do anything more this year than last, but she always hits the after-Christmas sales and stocks up on more lights and stuff so I know better.

Then there was the strange case of the “decoration” in the field that was once going to be a subdivision. Seems that some merry pranksters snagged this thing from a farm off Juno Rd. My first knowledge of the deed was seeing it in a ditch along the highway one morning, on the way to work. Two days later, it was gone… and showed up here. It’s been there since Thanksgiving, clearly visible from the road going to the in-laws’ place.

If the chicken looks headless, that’s because it is. If the head didn’t shatter into a zillion pieces when it landed in the ditch, I rather expect it’s now a decoration in some goofball’s man-cave. I like to think of it as the Evil Zombie Chicken, protecting the acreage from another developer… or maybe there’s a bankruptcy curse in effect. Actually, I’m surprised that Coldwell Banker (the seller) hasn’t done something about a stolen statue yet.


  1. Aww Mason looks so sweet decorating the tree. The house lights are lovely - we don't do so much of that here in Oz - some houses do but its summer and the nights are light one would have to wait until nearly 10.00 to put them on.

  2. That is an enormous co--, I mean, chicken. Oh come on, everyone was thinking it.

    I think your outdoor lights look spectacular and Mason is adorable. You only get a couple of years of that. Just move the deadly ones up on the tree and help him make some paper ones for his height. I tell myself I will have plenty of time to admire a professionally decorated Christmas tree when I'm in the retirement home. :)

  3. Helen, that makes sense. Do you also do Daylight Savings Time there?

    GP, *snort* good one!!! I don't do much tree decorating; Mrs. Fetched seems to think if you can still see tree under the lights & ornaments, you need to add more.

  4. Yep we do FAR we are in daylight savings mode at the moment.

  5. That headless chicken statue kind of rules. Looks like a total keeper to me, Larry.

    And feel better soon if you can, okay?

  6. Helen, I sort of wish DST were year-round here. But it would still get dark before I get home from work, so what's the difference?

    Thanks, JohnW. I'm not sure at this point, whether: 1) the authorities have managed to not hear of the headless zombie chicken's current "20"; 2) the owner, having seen the damage, doesn't want it anymore; 3) the owner got rid of it himself.


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