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Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Winter #1 Comes In Like a… Snippy Snippet?

Along with the first serious arctic blasts from the uttermost north, comes a serious arctic blast from an uttermost ding-a-ling.

This really started Saturday, when I was alone with Mason pretty much all day while Mrs. Fetched and The Boy (and even M.A.E.) were at the chicken houses. Around 5pm, Snippet called wondering how she was going to get home from work.

“Sit tight, Mason’s been napping for a couple hours. I’ll just get him up and we’ll come get you.”

“Can’t The Boy come?”

“He’s still in the chicken houses.”

“Oh.” The unhappy kind.

I got Mason up. “You want to go bye-bye?” I asked him.

“Bye-bye.” He pointed at the door.

“You want to get your mom?”

He shook his head. Seriously, even Mason doesn’t like Snippet much.

As we were on our way to town, Mrs. Fetched called and asked me to meet them in town for supper. No problem… except that M.A.E. was riding with The Boy while Mrs. Fetched rode with Panda. Snippet is projecting her own guilt of cheating on him onto others, which means she has serious problems with The Boy’s long-since-ex M.A.E. being around him when she’s not there to supervise. Or whatever. Snippet even came out and told me she didn’t like it; I told her she had nothing to worry about.

To confirm my (lack of) suspicion, I later asked M.A.E. whether she had any designs on The Boy, which got her a bit pissy about Snippet’s suspicions. Somewhere along the line, M.A.E. went and told Snippet in essence to get over herself, she and The Boy were ancient history. Indeed… she was like 13 when they got together. (“I wonder who she was screwing then,” said Mrs. Fetched later. OUCH)

So we come to last night… Daughter Dearest arrived for the long Christmas break, and the three of us plus M.A.E. were chatting in the bedroom, when The Boy came down. “Can you come upstairs?” he asked. “Snippet wants to tell you something.”

What she had to say started with “You don’t talk to me, I don’t talk to you.” and continued with a rant about how I messed stuff up for her by “dragging” M.A.E. into the situation.

“What I was trying to do was help you get over this ridiculous idea that M.A.E. has any feelings for The Boy.”

“Yeah, well she posted something on Facebook about how she wanted to get back with him.” I was more than a little skeptical about this, and left. Turned out Snippet was right, M.A.E. had posted that… about three years ago. Jeeeeeeeeeez.

So this morning, she started in on me again, and I had enough. “As long as you keep pointing fingers in every direction except at the real problem, which is yourself, you’ll never solve your problems.” I had to repeat this, given that it contained a three-syllable word, and expected a “yeah whatever” kind of response. She turned away, then turned back.

“If Mason wasn’t standing right there,” she said, “this coffee would be all over you right now.”

“It’s a very good thing, for your sake, that it isn’t,” I said, and she woke up two brain cells long enough to agree. I may have ended up in jail, but I would have delivered unto her the ass-kicking she needs and deserves first. Now that I have time to plot a reaction if she actually does do something like that, I’ll settle for bodily throwing her out of my house — a much more satisfying solution, both short- and long-term.


  1. Oh, FAR ... that's a dangerous situation ....

  2. Hey all!

    Boran, Mrs. Fetched has demonstrated reserves of restraint I never thought she had. I told her last night that I've been amazed at her forbearance esp. after Snippet called her a b**ch.

    KB, it's most dangerous of all for Snippet. I don't think she realizes how close she's come to getting thumped — several times — and Mrs. Fetched is the sanest of a family who will close ranks with her in a heartbeat.

  3. Oh, man.

    Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man.

    She needs to go, and go now. The tension there is wound tighter than a spring, and someone is going to get hurt, and that would be so terribly sad. Snippet has nothing to lose. The rest of you do.

  4. What Wendy said. Do you have a detached garage they can live in?

  5. Hey all… Mrs. Fetched supposedly talked with The Boy this evening and informed him we want her Out.

    Good point, Wendy, she does have nothing to lose… except an easy roof over her head and what amounts to chauffeur service.

    KB, there is a detached garage, and they've been known to sleep in it some summer nights. It would be a bear to heat though.

  6. Please, I hope this gets defused soon. That bad-becoming-worse stuff is well worth avoiding .. just ask the Bernanke! :(

  7. Nudge, they're (slowly) getting over themselves for now. No apologies of course, but we've made it clear we want Snippet out and sooner is better. Even now, she could salvage the situation simply by doing the stuff she should be doing w/o giving us a bunch of grief. We're wayyyy too tolerant. :-)

  8. I can see why you speak of life in a free range lunatic asylum. I don't really mean to be anonymous, but the whole thing of google accounts, etc. is too much for me since I always forget the passwords..
    Sounds like you really hitched up with the Snopses down there in JawJaw. Your photo of "Snippet" tells it all with the expression and the eyes; 100% white trash and most unfortunate your son defaulted into breeding with her, as that means you're stuck with her. Too bad you couldn't just buy here a car and give her $20K in exchange for signing away all parental rights...

  9. Hey anon, no problem — if I want people to comment, it would be silly to put up "signup" roadblocks, right? You can use the "Name/URL" selection to enter some kind of name if you like, no password (or URL for that matter) required.

    Snippet had a pretty rough life early on — a trailer was one of the best accommodations she had, and actually lived in a car for a while. But she ought to be grateful she has a decent place instead of treating us like crap. She'd probably sign off just for a car. If it meant her going far far away, that would be even better. I just wish The Boy would scrape her loose.

  10. OK, I can be no longer anonymous then. Figured the girl had the tough childhood backstory going and it's typical of such people not to appreciate it when someone gives them a square deal. That way they can keep it going and end up like their parents. After all most American Snopeses keep going with class resentments dating back to their Scotch-Irish ancestors relationships as in "The Crofter and the Laird" and their black counterparts carry forward with behaviors based in slavery and rootlessness. I spent a decade working as a social worker with such people here in the Southeast before throwing up my hands.
    My hat's off to you for your obvious forebearance...

  11. Oh wow… that bad, Erik? BTW, one of my other blog-friends is also a former social worker. Welcome to my asylum, by the way, always glad to hear from new people.

    "Snopeses" is a term I recognize right away, but never heard applied to people in general. Around here, I just refer to them as the "pod people" because they've been assimilated or something. I figured Snopeses would be the religious rightie type.

    Hang around, read some fiction (although the real stuff is weirder) and feel free to comment any time.


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