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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

50 Laps…

Today marks the completion of my 50th lap around the sun. The vehicle is showing the expected signs of wear here and there — some of the body panels are a little loose and the motor needs some maintenance… but the rear end’s still tight! ;-)

This landed in my email a day or two ago, and I thought, “how appropriate!” One of the few I’ve bothered forwarding to other people.


When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning.

... Uphill...

BOTH ways

Yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on kids about how hard I had it and how easy they've got it!

But now that... I'm over the ripe old age of thirty, I can't help but look around and notice the youth of today.

You've got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in Utopia!

And I hate to say it but you kids today you don't know how good you've got it!

I mean, when I was a kid we didn't have The Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalogue!!

There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter, with a pen!

...Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox and it would take like a week to get there!

There were no MP3's or Napsters! You wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself! Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio and the DJ'd usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up!

We didn't have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called they got a busy signal, that's it!

And we didn't have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your mom, your boss, your Bookie, your drug dealer, a collections agent, you just didn't know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

We didn't have any fancy Sony Playstation video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like 'Space Invaders' and 'asteroids'. Your guy was a little square! You actually had to use your Imagination!! And there were no
multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

Sure, we had cable television, but back then that was only m-net and there was no on screen menu and no remote control! You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the Channel and there was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday morning. Do you hear what I'm saying!?! We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

And we didn't have microwaves, if we wanted to heat something up we had to use the stove ... Imagine that!

If we wanted Popcorn, we had to use that stupid Jiffy Pop thing and shake it over the stove forever like an idiot.

That's exactly what I'm talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You're spoiled. You guys wouldn't have lasted five minutes back in 1980!

The over 30 Crowd

Of course, I had to pass it on to Daughter Dearest. She replied: Hm... Well, technology definitely has its advantages... Mr. "Sent from my iPhone." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BUSTED Yup, I’ve raised her to be a wiseacre, and in that at least I’ve succeeded.


  1. My memories go back to the 60's. My sister's version to her daughters when they complained about getting into a hot car.
    "In MY day we had to sit on VINYL."
    SW aka Susan in Colorado

  2. Happy Happy Birthday FAR!!!!!!

    It's funny but the big five oh didn't have as much impact on me as did the big four oh. At forty I discovered bi-focals.

    I was reading SW's comment, and I thought about a question for you to ask DD. Has she ever heard of Naugahyde? :)

    Hope you have a great B'day FAR.

  3. Happy 50th birthday Far! I passed that milestone myself not too long ago. It's all downhill from here on in. ;-)

  4. Happy Birthday to You!
    Happy Birthday to You!
    Happy Birthday Dear FAR!
    Happy Birthday to You!

    Got a good chuckle at the In my day ... ... and an even bigger chuckle at DD's response to you! :P

  5. Hi Susan! I also remember vinyl seats… all too well. Summer days, wearing shorts, need I say more?

    FM, I've managed to dodge the bifocals so far, but I'll probably have to fight it out with my eye doc next time I go in. I can read fine when I take off my glasses, so that's the tack I'm going to take. Naugahyde? Aren't Naugas a protected species now? ;-) I'll ask DD the question, and sure she will respond "I've heard of it, but can't remember what it is."

    Boran, that's what my dad said… it goes a lot faster from here, because it's all downhill!

    Olivia, glad to hear you enjoyed it. I'll go whack her with my walker, when I remember where it is. ;-)

  6. lol ... Enjoy your Thanksgiving FAR and Family!

  7. Happy Birthday Far! I'll reach that milestone next year.

    Happy Thanksgivng! Hope The Boy and DD, are there! suppose, Mrs. Far, wouldn't have it anyother way, eh? ha!

  8. Hi Yooper... Yup, and all the in-laws with theo Planet Georgia heritage.

  9. To Farf...my favorite verse from the birthday dirge..

    Happy Birthday...(thud)
    Happy birthday...(thud)
    May the candles on your cake
    Burn like cities in your wake
    Happy birthday...(thud)
    happy birthday...(thud)

    My memories go back to the 70's. I do remember Naugahyde. All those poor Naugas...oh so much darkness.

    I hope you had a great birthday and a great Thanksgiving.

  10. Happy 50 Years, FAR!!! My 50 is just around the corner! People try to tell me I'm getting OLD - GACK!!! I'm not getting old, I'm aging like a fine wine!! And, yes, the bottle has some gray dust on it. LOL!!!

    "When I was a kid...." reminds me a lot of when I was growing up. My stepdad used to tell that story of walking UPHILL both ways, thru freezing snow! It definitely brought back some memories and how easy today's kids really have it! And how am I telling you this....? BUSTED - on the Internet with the use of a "fancy" computer! LOL!!

    Happy 50th FAR....And Many More!!!

  11. Wooly! I like the one that follows, you know… the one about saving the sheep? >8-}

    Hey Mrs. M — how would anyone in a cultural backwater like Planet Georgia meet *anyone* interesting without the Internet?

    Thanks, y'all!

  12. Love the over 30 article, here's my 2¢ on that.

    Back then a minor could buy smokes anywhere no questions asked. Any STD could be taken care of with a shot or pill. You either walked, drove, or rode the bus to school, unless you were disabled, no parent drove thier kid to school. Coca Cola came in glass 16oz bottles and if you wanted water you had to get it from the faucet and if you wanted it cold you put ice in it. You could fix your own car without a computer scanner or manual. Radio stations played differnt formats from each other. Rock Concerts cost under $15 and the main attraction was the music, not the stage show. Cars racing in NASCAR resembled cars that were on the road. If you were under age and got caught by the police with alcohol, they made you dump it out and go home. There were pay phones at every gas station and c-store. Air and water for your car was free. Fake ID's worked.

  13. Heyyyyy Solar-bro! I'll bet you know some of those things from direct experience, huh?

  14. Everything except the STD thing. LOL

  15. Hey FAR!
    Late to the party, as ever ... my apologies for missing your 50th lap. I could make a tasteless joke about a lap dance, but I'll spare you, hehe. :-)

    Guess we're all in same general laphood around here, eh, not so bad most days is it?

    And that was a fun forward and I'm not usually one to read those things, but it was well done. Thx for sharing!

    Don't worry about bifocals ... I was wearing those in 2nd grade and had those oh so fashionable (to today's younger set) thick black plastic glasses. Yeah, back when that's all you could get and they immediately branded you as a nerd. Ah mem-0-ries!


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